Random Stories, Trigun Style The Pantie Conspiraci
by Redd Dawn
Summary: Randomness will one day rule the world! But for now, it only rules in my mind. Trigun charactors will be subjected to my cruel insaneity herein. rated for my potty mouth.
1. The steal

Redd: So, instead of doing my usual thing, I've decided to try my hand at a skit beginning—

RKK: Which you totally stole from me…

Redd: Do you honestly care?

RKK: No.

Redd: Than shaddup before I eat your head! Anyway, I've decided to make the actual story in skit form as well.

Ed: That's bad, isn't it?

Redd: GO AWAY! YOU'RE NOT IN THIS!!!! (hits over the head with frying pan)

RKK: You know what that means…. VASH!!!!!! (pulls Vash randomly out of nowhere)

Vash: NO! PLEASE GOD N—

Redd: Here have a doughnut.

Vash: Okay! (takes doughnut and sits cross legged on the floor, munching on it)

Redd: Angel, do the disclaimer!

Angel: She owns nothin', bitches!

Redd: Now here it is.

Random Stories, Trigun Style

Number One:

The Pantie Conspiracies

RKK: uh…. Why are we still here? 

Redd: Because we're in the story.

RKK: Sweet!

Angel: Um, can I go home now?

Redd: Sure! (Angel leaves, Redd takes something from behind her back)

Wolfwood: HEY!!!! Is that my underwear?

Redd: Yes… (Pulls out scissors and holds them menacingly over the underwear)

RKK: This is not gonna end well…

Vash: TT My doughnut's gone…

RKK: Don't cry Vash… I'll give you a doughnut!

Vash: DOUGNUT!!!

RKK: (Gives Vash Doughnut)

Redd: Where's my doughnut?

RKK: You don't get one….

Redd: Why?

RKK: Cause I say so… and because you refuse to give Wolfwood his panties back…

Wolfwood: I DO NOT WEAR PANTIES!!!

RKK: Yes you do… Wait! This sounds familiar….

Redd: (Still holding wolfwoods panties) Of course it does you ninny! You wrote it!

RKK: Oh yeah….

Wolfwood: Hey, can I have my panties- I mean my _underwear _back now?

RKK: Haha! You said panties!!

Vash: Both of you are insane!!!

Redd: Yeah, and you're not?

Vash: Well, now that you mention it...

Redd: See? Birds of a feather! Wolfwood: Why are you torturing me this way? 

Redd: 'Cause it's fun….

RKK: Redd… give Wolfwood his panties back…

Redd: That wouldn't be much fun… 

RKK: So… I hate seeing men cry….

Redd: I don't care! I have special plans for these….

Me: Fine… no Doughnuts…

Tara: Awww…. Nuts… Well, I'll just have to call in reinforcements…


	2. Wenchels

Redd: Well, it's been some time… I mean actually in the story there's been some time—

Knives: How much?

Redd: Wha?

Knives: How much time?

Redd: Um…. Just some time…..

Knives: You don't know, do you?

RKK: O-kay, back the closet!

Knives: But But—

RKK: NO BUTS SEX SLAVE!!!! (grabs Knives and drags him away)

Knives: HELP ME!

Redd: Moving on!

More Pantie fun 

Me: Dad! Put down the meat down!

Dad: HAHA! runs away brandishing meat

Kate: Wait, what?

Redd: Huh? (stares blankly a RKK)

Wolfwood: Can I have my underwear back now?

Redd: No.

RKK: Then you don't get any doughnuts.

Redd: Well, I've gotten reinforcements since the last time!

Wolfwood: Well, what does that mean?

Redd: Two things: One, I got doughnuts on Saturday. OH YEAH!!!!! WINCHEL'S, BITCH!!!!

RKK: NOOOO!!!!! I lost my wild card!!! (Starts to sob as Redd starts to laugh evilly)

Redd: (Ends evil laughter) Two, I threw up milk and robitussin all over them when I was sick on Friday. So I can't give them back now.

Wolfwood: M-My Panties? You irked on my panties? B-but….WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Redd: (As Wolfwood sobs in the background) On another note, Scrubs made me cry! Poor JD! Stupid Kim! I hope she gets hit by a truck…. Who would do that to precious JD?

Vash: Aww, Tara, don't ya love _me_ no more? (Makes puppy eyes)

Redd: (Puts arm around Vash) Of course I do Vash. Yous ma bitch.

Vash: Cool. (Wraps arms around Redd's waist)

Wolfwood: Oh… my panties…. My poor panties….

Redd: Geez, Wolfwood, I can buy you some new underwear…

RKK: My wild card…. My poor wild card…..

Lizzy: (appears randomly out of nowhere) Here, RKK, have some coffee! (gives coffee to RKK) Later crazy people! (dissapears in a cloud of smoke)

RKK: Oooo, coffee! (drinks coffee)

Vash: Who was that?

Redd: That was Lizzy.

Vash: Um, okay….

Redd: RKK, gimmie your phone!

RKK: What for? (drinks coffee)

Redd: Just gimme! (RKK gives cell phone, Redd dials number) Hey pimp Mama, this is Redd! I gots your money Bitch! Hell Yeah! And if I thro in a little sommin' sommin' extra, can you thro in a little sommin' sommin' fo me? Yeah, I want a number forty two… No just one…. I ain't one of yo hoes bitch! Yeah, lot a love! Later, Motha fucka!(hangs up phone, give back to RKK)

Vash: Do I dare ask?

Redd: No.


	3. The end?

Redd: This time, it's been only a few hours since last time….

Knives: Help me! For the love of god save me!

Redd: Dude, has she even done anything to you yet?

Knives: Well, no….

Redd: Then how do you know you won't like it?

RKK: Back to the closet!

Knives: No, not again! (RKK grabs Knives and tosses him into closet, goes in, closes door) No! Not there! Not— Oooooooo…..

Redd: Hmm… Anyways…..

**Fun Fun Fun**

Wolfwood: I can't believe you Irked on my panties!

Redd: Oh, so they're panties now are they?

Wolfwood: Ummm…

Pimp Mama: Hey, Hoes! How's it hangin' bitches? You got my money?

Redd: Yeah, I got cho money! You got my package?

Pimp Mama: Hell yeah! (takes out package, Redd takes out money wad, they exchange) See yas later!

Redd: For you! (tosses package to Wolfwood)

Wolfwood: What the heck is this?

Vash: Why don't you open it?

Wolfwood: Okay….…(opens package, pulls out pair of polka dot panties, clutches panties) Oh, my sweet, dear panties! Never shall I let anyone harm thee!

Redd: That's kinda creepy….

Legato: I will kill you all….

Redd: Yeah, yeah, get back in your cage, bitch!

Legato: Okay… (shuffles off to cage)

Vash: TT But I thought I was your bitch!

Redd: Aw, Vash! You're my number one Man Ho!

Vash: Really?

Redd: Yeah! (cuddels Vash)

Viciously Rob: All you people are weird…

………….

Redd: Well, that's the end? How'd you like it?

RKK: Hey, I was barely in this chapter! How come?

Redd: You were in the closet with Knives….

RKK: Oh yeah….

Angel: Review Bitches!


End file.
